Protecting Others

Most of a Martial Artist’s training is focused on protecting themselves from a physical assault. We spend years learning how to throw an attacker when he chokes you against a wall, or how to disarm him if he holds you up at an ATM machine. We learn how to protect ourselves if knocked to the ground and then pounced upon by our assailant. Escape from a knife to the throat – sure! Roll someone over and choke them unconscious when tackled – absolutely! Catch a kick and sweep the leg Johnny – yes Sensei. Over the years we learn hundreds of techniques to protect ourselves – and that is great. But…

We often tout learning our art so that we can “protect ourselves and our loved ones from harm.” The reason I put this in quotes is because I say this all the time. But is it true? Do we learn to protect our loved ones from harm? Have you spent alot of time in your dojo practicing moves in a scenario where someone else is being attacked, and you use your Jujitsu or Karate or Hapkido skills to protect that other person? I am going to guess not.

So what does it really mean to protect your loved ones from harm? Well, I am going to share a few thoughts on that. And what gives me the right to tell you how to do that? Is it because I am a high ranking Jujitsu instructor with over forty years of experience? Nope. Is it because I served in the Army? Nope. It’s because I have studied what to do to protect others. Yes, actually. As a graduate of the Executive Protection Institute and a certified Personal Protection Specialist who has had the opportunity to protect others in real life situations (VIP Protection, Exec Protection, Domestic Violence Protection), I can tell you that protecting others is a different animal than protecting yourself.

I am not going to give instructions on how to protect a dignitary, or how to give protection in a motorcade, or even how to walk close protection formations. What I am going to do is talk about how to protect your loved ones in a few easy to understand concepts that you can apply in your life.

Concept 1 – Threat Assessment. You have already trained in your martial art to the point where you feel secure in your ability to defend yourself against attack. You know how to thwart many types of physical attacks and use martial arts techniques to defeat the enemy. But when? Where? Who? A threat assessment is something I am sure has been discussed in your dojo. Who is most likely to attack you? Where do these attacks often happen and under what circumstances? What places do you frequent? Where do you travel? What are the threats you may face? All great questions to have answers to. With those answers, you know how to train, when to have increased awareness, and what techniques you might have to use. This is a useful exercise for protecting your loved ones. Where might they face a threat? At school? Crossing the parking lot after leaving work? In a dimly lit garage? Out at night with friends? Have they talked about people harassing them? Does your daughter have an overly possessive boyfriend? Are they going to visit a dangerous country? Will your wife or husband be home alone for a week while you are on a business trip? Do they know how to protect themselves? These are some key questions you and your loved ones should assess together. Not talking about them does not make the threats go away. Discuss potential threats in all kinds of situations with them, and have plans. Have escape plans. Have communication plans. Have self defense plans. Know what might happen when and by whom.

Concept 2 – Awareness. Not talking about potential threats can make them psychologically disappear. Sometimes we are frightened to look paranoid when we address potential threats and possible responses. But they do not go away. They are there – looking for victims who live in denial. Admit they are there, and everywhere, and discuss them. Talk about drunken behavior, sexual assault, stalkers, road rage, strong arm robbery, threats from strangers and threats from family and friends. Talking about it doesn’t mean it will happen, it means it could happen. It would be the same as talking about preparing for a hurricane or blizzard. They happen. They can be dangerous. You need to do certain things to be prepared so that you are not injured or killed by them. We talk about these types of threats easily, but are often shy to talk about human threats. One of the most important parts of talking about these threats is to give the information necessary for awareness. You can’t be aware of something you know nothing of. Once you understand the threat, even at the most rudimentary level, you can be aware of the situations and signals that a threat is imminent. When you are aware, you can avoid, escape, or protect yourself from danger. Teach your loved ones to be aware of unusual behavior, speech that is out of the norm, erratic behavior, people that seem out of place, aggressive movements in your direction, the sounds associated with escalating aggression or violence, and what weapons look like and how they operate. Also – it’s difficult to be aware when you are distracted by your phone or are deaf to your surroundings because of your ear buds. Awareness means all your senses are available and heightened. This isn’t an exhaustive list, but examples of the things you and your loved ones should understand and discuss and have plans for.

Concept 3 – Security. Security can come in the form of physical, psychological, and technological methods. Each of these categories should be assessed to understand how they would work to your advantage in your personal situation. Physical and Technological security methods are often what is called an “outer perimeter.” Fencing, locked gates, locked windows and doors, locked vehicles, alarm systems, security lights, and cameras all provide you with the ability to protect your loved ones by keeping those who might want to harm them physically away. Of course, we can’t keep our loved ones in a cage. They will travel and move between buildings and have relationships and be in the open. But in areas that are typical targets for would-be assailants, using these security measures reduce risk exponentially. A difficult target is often an abandoned target.

Psychological security measures are also helpful. Things, signs, situations that all make the assailant think twice about making a move really work. Why do you think Celebrity Bodyguards are often large, imposing figures? Sure they are strong and generally well trained, but they are mainly a deterrent. They just look too difficult to get through in order to attack the celebrity. Deterrents work for you too. In your personal life there might be things like signs that say your property is guarded by an alarm system, or a Beware of Dog sign, or an actual dog, or motion sensing security lighting. These deterrents work very well. How your loved ones walk can be a psychological security technique. Confident, brisk walking tells others that your family member means business, especially when their head is on a swivel and they look like they are aware of their surroundings. Walking in a group is helpful. Not being stupid and allowing yourself to be alone in fringe areas or low light surroundings is also critical. If you look like the frail weak antelope on the savanna, there will be a hungry lion waiting to pounce on you. Instead, try to look and act and speak like you’d be a more difficult dinner than they are willing to work for. Again, just ideas you can work with and discuss with your loved ones.

Concept 4 – Intervention. Well, I finally got to the good stuff. Yeah! The fighting part! Kick ass! Maybe – maybe not. When you are responsible for physically protecting others, you have to remember that your engagement in a physical altercation with an assailant takes you away from the job of protecting your loved ones. While you are busy kicking ass, they are left standing, doe eyed, while the rest of the lions give them a surprise attack.

When intervening to protect another, your primary job is to stop the immediate attack and then remove your loved one from the danger zone as quickly as possible. What? Run away? Yes – absolutely. Protection isn’t fighting – protection is making sure you and your loved ones remain unharmed – period! So – if you have spent the time to do all the things mentioned in the sections above, and still a situation occurs where you need to protect your spouse, siblings, parents, children from physical danger, you must do a few things…

1. React very quickly. Whatever that danger is – you need to recognize it and do something very quickly. You will have maybe two seconds to react. Whatever it is you are going to do – do it. Do not hesitate.

2. What should you do? Two things. Put yourself in between harm and your loved ones, and evacuate them from the danger zone. Don’t confront an assailant. But do stop any immediate attack and get your loved one(s) out of there. I don’t want to get into any specific gun disarms, or knife defenses, or even how to use your own weapon to defend your family. Those are techniques you will have to learn from a competent instructor and know which ones are legally allowed in your area of the world, but know that you may need that knowledge to successfully protect your family. You might have to know how to do those defensive tactics in order to immediately stop the attack.

As an example, if you are standing with your spouse in the lobby of a bank, and a crazed man wielding a large knife comes in slashing and stabbing, and is suddenly upon you, you cannot just do the “evacuate your loved one.” If you try that, you will be stabbed multiple times in the back and have no chance to help your spouse. You must know how to block and control the knife attack long enough to stop it so you can get your spouse safely out of harms way.

3. Sending Subtle Messages to would-be assailants is an important technique. Being aware enough to see someone who looks out of place and then stepping in front of your family as you walk sends a message that the assailant is seen, and would have to go through you first to get to your loved ones. Walking to your car at night, looking around for anyone who shouldn’t be there, opening the door for your family member while obviously still surveying the area sends a message that you are aware and ready for trouble. If someone comes up to you and your loved ones that you do not know and has no reason to talk to you, reach your hand out in front of your family members as if it was a security arm (which it is) and then step in between them and the unknown person, being hyper aware that you might become the target. This sends a clear signal that your family is “off limits” and the advance is not welcome.

4. Being meek will get you killed. Let me say that again. Being meek will get you killed. It has gotten many people killed, and many hundreds of thousands more injured by assailants. Everything was telling them there was a problem, a situation, an issue, a danger – and they didn’t take action. Many justify within their minds that what they think is an issue really isn’t, because they are meek and don’t want to confront the issue. Many are afraid to tell a would-be assailant (who is conducting a potential victim assessment by asking for the time, or asking for spare change, or asking for a ride) to leave them alone or get the hell away. Some find it impossible to admit that they are being groped by a friend or family member. Many are shaken by a loud voice or an aggressive movement and cringe rather than standing tall, speaking in a commanding manner, or moving with purpose. When you see a stranger near your car, do you silently hope they go away soon because you don’t want to upset them by asking them to move away, or do you yell, “Dude, get away from the car!” You need to assess yourself and your family members to understand if they have a problem with meekness. You and they need to be able to stand up for yourselves, be aware, observe, and admit that a situation isn’t right and potentially dangerous, and do something about it.

Finally, what you need to take away from this post is that defending yourself and defending others takes a different approach – but not a complicated approach. These basic concepts and strategies can really go a long way toward you being able to protect your loved ones from harm at the hands of another person. But you have to take the responsibility to research, have the conversations, learn the techniques, take the steps, and develop the attitude to ensure you and your family are not victims of violence.